I WILL gain control

Well half term's been and gone and as I had anticipated, it was full of adventures. But somehow they were not the kind of antics you'd expect from an average household getting on with an average break from school.

Indeed I am beginning to wonder whether the distraction gremlins have moved in permanently because my life has become even more chaotic and disorganised than usual. But in some ways these distractions are very, very exciting.

First there was the impromptu phone-call from Three Counties Radio, where they wanted me to comment on recycling ten minutes into the end of the programme, which coincided with a lunch date with Christina (aka recently discovered Feargal Sharkey Fan), who was visiting from York and encouraging me to crack on with my book.

But given that I've always got something to say on rubbish, I found myself interrupting dessert to tuck myself away in my car with my phone - in the cold - so I could say my piece without the background noise of the pub getting in the way. I'm not sure the radio station would have appreciated lively jazz music accompanying my mutterings.

And the cheek of it...can you believe the provocative presenter called me a Bunny Loving Tree Hugger?! I'm more of a Blog Loving Husband Hugger. Yes, I know I like to do my bit, but I'm afraid the relevance of stereotypes went out with the turn of the century as so many others are making an effort too. He should really try to keep up, don't you think. Cheeky boy!

Next I gadded off to the Big Smoke, to meet up with my gorgeous friend Tracey, descending on London to support our very funny friend Abi, in her debut performance at the Pink Poodle Comedy Club in Soho.

"The Pink Poodle?" My husband said, raising his eyebrows, as he dropped me off at the train station in Bury St Edmunds.

"Yes" I said, lowering mine.

"In Soho?" He added, eyebrows now frozen in place.

"Indeed" I replied as I kissed the children goodbye and ran off to the ticket office.

I was upset that I was leaving the kids behind for my first overnight stay away from them in six years, yes SIX years! But I was also excited at seeing Abi's performance of what has become her signature tune and wondered how it would go down in a Soho gay club. I needn't have worried, the children had a great time even though they said they'd missed me "an ickle bit" and as for Abi, she received a rapturous welcome with more deafening applause at the end of her performance. The audience loved her and so did we, our sides aching from laughter the following morning.

If all that wasn't exciting enough, once I'd settled myself back at home for some fun with the kids and got ready to sort out the mess I'd left behind and the muddle they'd created during my absence, the postman knocked early on Saturday Morning. He was delivering a bundle of post including my free ticket to the MediaGuardian Innovation Awards ceremony for which my other blog has been shortlisted in this year's Independent Media category. An evening out in a swanky restaurant in London, in the company of the most amazing creative talent!

I know, with MEGA distractions like that what is a girl to do! There's not just the dress and the shoes, there's also the feeling of overwhelm that's left me stunned since the day I found out. And I've got my book to finish. No wonder I can't find time or the inclination for the bloody housework.

Well, at last I've found the solution.

It was a choice of giving up writing or hiring a cleaner.

Can you tell the writing won?

And yes the cleaner started today.

But if you think it's a cop-out think again as I made sure I had a bloody good clean-up before she got here. Well, I couldn't leave her with all our mess. I'm worried it would send her running to the hills before she even got started.

I've got my reputation to keep up you know and I think this solution might just work.

Ah...I will become a proper keeper of this household. I don't know how I'll get there, but get there I will! So with the cleaner now gone and a sparkling home, I'm now off to wash more pants!


Total Distraction Points: 10/10
Domestic Goddess Points 2/10
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